Bison's Lifelols

The Unauthorized Biography of Lewis Bostock

Lewis Bostock.
Prolific blogger. Pathetic YouTuber. Earl Grey enthusiast. Satisfactory lover.

There have been many questions lately about this man. Who is this Lewis Bostock? Where did he come from? What is his message?

The mystery surrounding Mr Bostock has spread faster than horny fangirls in Kerikeri. Ever since his rambunctious debut in Auckland at the New Zealand YouTube Gathering, Bostock has captured the imagination of tens of people who were present.

Bostock's exact history is unknown, but it is known that he is the forbidden spawn of a champagne induced union between a dancer and a candlestick maker from the lofts of Ye Olde England. After a run-in with the local restaurant owner over salad ingredients, the Bostock clan were banished to the prison realm of Australia. Due to the less than satisfactory navigation skills of Lewis though, the family sailed straight past Australia and landed in New Zealand.

Since this outrageous arrival, Lewis Bostock has grown into a man vocal in local politics. He adamantly promotes cultural equality with his fiance, Pansy Wong. He is also a supporter of his local 'Guns Don't Kill People, Ladders Do' Club chapter. In his spare time he likes to cultivate tea leaves and practice divination, and hopes to one day have three children named Earl, Grey and Pansy II.

Bostock has also created somewhat of a fashion revolution in the Albany area of Auckland. Style commentators are calling Bostock followers the 'Scarf Army' in reference to the uniform skinny scarf, as mandated by the Church of Bostock. Other trends include thick framed glasses and evening robes.

One certainty in the life of The Bostock is the presence of Earl Grey Tea. To say he is reliant on the substance would be a gross understatement. Followers have noted Bostock's incessant craving for the tea, and many believe this to be the source of his power. His brain power, that is.

And that is just it. Even with the little we know about his history and origin, his sheer vocabulatary (yes, he created that word) power and robe-wearing skills overshadow even my biographical writing talent.

All of these qualities are what make up this absent member of the New Zealand YouTube community. This pompous Earl Grey drinking, robe wearing, film review writing, proclamation making British import. This bespeckled knight of film making. This man of internet mystery.

This Lewis Bostock.